This is a topic that I can’t write about without being drunk. I’m kidding of course, but there is a truth in evey joke.

So the facts first. I am divorced. 16 years marriage and an amazing daughter later we decided to divorce, because our vision about the future looked completely different. Yes, because I really loved her, so I decided to leave her the freedom she needed. Or at least pursued that time.

Time has passed since then. A long time – 14 years so far. I was not very interested in new relationships. There were several attempts, including one that almost led to marriage, but in the end she got fed up and gave up because she had no control over me. And it is difficult to control a man who has lost everything at least once and does not give in to manipulation.

I usually avoid talking about relationships. Not because I’m not interested in them, but because my opinion on the subject differs from the mainstream and someone might get offended or take it personally, and I don’t want unnecessary conflict.

I’ve been living like a digital nomad lately – I’ve been traveling around different countries in Asia, working remotely, not knowing anyone locally, and hanging out in coworking spaces. This is not a prerequisite for a deep relationship and marriage, especially for people who are traditionalists and imagine things like a house, a car, and two children, social status, a good salary, etc. Because I don’t embody any of that. I do whatever I want, wherever I want, I sold my car a long time ago, I don’t have my own place, and I feel happy. The latter especially infuriates people who have a plan for how life should be in order to be happy. And mine doesn’t fit in, not at all.

However, something happened to me recently and I registered on a dating platform. From where I got various women and one of them was from China. It’s no coincidence – at that time I was in China and in her city. But we didn’t see each other.
Instead, we had 24-hour online dating.

Which ended with this message from her: “You want others to cooperate with you, but you don’t want to spend money, just talking is no useful, so we are not match.” The reason was simple – I told her I was flying to Kuala Lumpur that day. She asked when I would come back to China to see her. I said I wasn’t planning to, but we could make it up. I asked her if she would like to come to Malaysia. She told me that plane tickets were expensive now. And the next day I got the message from above.

This whole story, as funny as it is, is actually sad. Because it seems nothing has changed. Apparently women still expect men to read minds and fulfill desires that they haven’t named.

And how long the hell will it be about money? Is this whole story about women’s rights, independence and power ultimately a charade? Behind it is an attempt to control men. Through accusations, blaming or other manipulations?

Why do you, a girl who is strong and independent, expect your man to obey you and then just cut him off when he doesn’t? Is that your power? Blackmail?

I’m an old-fashioned man – I prefer trust as the basis of a relationship and a deep emotional connection with my woman. Not superficial transactions based on social status, possessions, or God knows what.

I think the world has become a little distorted, which is hurting human relationships. But if you’d rather be right than happy, who am I to stop you?