I have Uranus in the 1st house in Libra, which determines my gate 18.2 in the human design chart – personality and design. This is a gate of fear – it instills fears about feminine power. It also determines my realm of creativity in my Star Pearl sequence in the Gene Keys hologenetic profile. The same Uranus rules the cusp of the 6th house in Aquarius – my daily job – which is also where my North Node in Pisces is, by the way. Have I lost you yet?

Adding this to my Pluto earlier in the 1st house in Virgo, conjunct my Virgo ascendant and Venus in Virgo in the 12th house… well, I am a perfectionist to the core. This same Pluto determines gate 6.3 – conflict (resolution) and the keynote of the line is Allegiance. Since Pluto is in detriment here, the keynote is Rejection of allegiance as submission to the established order. Venus itself in the 12th house in Virgo defines gate 64.5, which by the way is my gene key for the IQ sphere in the Venus sequence. Cool, huh? When I feel threatened, I hide in intellectualization.

So, if you’re still here… imagine you’re in a relationship with me. In a personal relationship, there was an attraction (with Venus and Pluto combined here, it’s a cocktail of affection and passion). Then you run into my Uranus, which seeks to improve everything. I know your flaws from the very beginning – my Pluto scans you under the mask at first glance, because it is satisfied with nothing but the truth. So you can play whatever games you want, but I don’t care – I know who you are since the beginnig. If I accepted you, then you are who you are for me, no matter what mask you wear. And in most cases, I know your flaws better than you do. Which is not a problem for me (but maybe for you) until my Uranus comes into play with the intention of improving you. Because its intention is really pure: I see your potential and I am connected to it. The only problem here is that you may not want to reveal it. That means I want to do this for you, which is not right, because it is an intrusion into your life. Unwanted.

Relationships, as people say, are not about “living happily together,” but about personal development, seeing ourselves in the mirror of the other. But I believe in it, does the other person believe it too?

I have made many mistakes in my life and have hurt people I loved and who were important to me. Simply because that is who I am. Driven by good intentions. But I can not change my essence.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions, someone said.

I can attest to that. I just wanted to ask forgiveness from all those people I unintentionally hurt. Simply because of who I am. Because I wanted more for them than they wanted for themselves. No, I am not savior anymore. I am just the one who hurt you again to show you your wounding. Please, forgive me ! You do not have to understand astrology, human design or gene keys to feel the pain.

I just wanted you to be free, not dependant on me. So I gave you the freedom you did not wanted because it is most valuable for me. But it is not what you wanted. It’s the same if I like meatballs and you like flowers. You have birthday. What will I give you ?

So, ending a relationship can be an improvement. Even if it is painful. And yes, it hurts.