Daily writing prompt

What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you?

View all responses

When someone says to me, “Pay me whatever you want,” I can feel the intense cognitive dissonance in the air. The person is clearly asking for money for what they’ve provided, but they’re afraid to say it directly, so stating a price becomes torture for them. And for me, too. Because somehow I feel like I have to make the right assumption about exactly how much money they expect from me. And yes, they have an expectation of the amount.

The sense of injustice here comes from the fact that they’re shifting the responsibility of setting the price onto me instead of themselves. And in this way they become pure and even saintly – I gave them the money, so the knowledge or service they provided me was separated from the “corrupting influence of money.”

But the fear of asking for money isn’t just related to this internal “Art vs. Commerce” narrative. In fact, there could be several other options, such as fear of rejection, imposter syndrome, self-esteem issues, fear of being perceived as greedy or money-hungry, a desire to be liked, and even perfectionism. And these are all deeper psychological or emotional reasons behind such “Pay me whatever you want” behavior.

There could also be cultural or social reasons: the taboo around money coming from your family or the country you live and grew up in, the “spirituality vs. money” dichotomy I cited earlier, which is a separation of the purity of service from the materialism embodied by money itself, or simply upbringing and inherited family beliefs.

And all of these things can be addressed through various types of therapy, psychological counseling, or even coaching. But first – as usual – you have to accept that you have such a fear.

Of course, there can be practical or strategic “business” reasons, such as a unclear value proposition, lack of process or framework, fear of wrong pricing or even targeting the wrong audience, which can lead to a constant decline in your offering, which of course can be a really annoying experience and make you think and say “Pay me whatever you want”. These problems can be “solved” by acquiring knowledge – finding the right framework, method or simply getting the right advice from a trusted experienced person.

These and other money-related issues are the subject of reflection in this section of my blog called “The Money-Making Taboo”.