Well, it depends. On self-perception. And on the environment. I’ll explain. It’s about values.

If we take self-worth as an example, it’s a total perception. First, it involves the word SELF. What is self? According to Wikipedia, the self is an individual’s own being, knowledge, and values, as well as the relationship between these attributes. So “Am I worthy?” becomes a philosophical question based on your own perception of yourself. But here’s the trick: Are you aware of what your perception of yourself is? Because most of us don’t think about it very often, so our self-perception may be outdated. Period!

And then comes the word “worth.” So what is worth? As Wordhippo.com says, it’s “Having a value of; proper to be exchanged for, deserving of”. This definition points to the environment itself. Because I may have a self-perception of being worthy in itself, but when I participate in some exchange, it also involves others who have their own values. This means that the things that are important to me may differ from their important things. And they probably are. Because if I am the most important person to myself (not everyone sees things that way, by the way), and the other person thinks they are the most important person to themselves, we have a problem here. Because at best I can be second most important to them, not first. And expecting the opposite is unrealistic.

So, value depends on the value system of the receiver and may differ from the value perceived by the giver. Like the global beauty craze of late: yes, this is why being a beautiful woman is not that important for me, because I see your behavior, which is most important for me in long term, but it is another story…

Then we try hard to sell our perceived value to other people who simply value other things. And we get angry, furious, etc., because “they don’t recognize, respect or value us.” Yes, it’s true – they may not value us and that’s so normal because they value other things.

But we have a choice, as always: instead of trying to change their perception of us, which is really an attempt to change their values, we can change our environment. The people we interact with. Which is an obvious solution, but we forget it just when we need it most – when we feel oppressed, unloved, disrespected, or unappreciated.

So the next time you feel that way, just step away to see what other environments are available to you. But first, check if it’s not your own perception of your self-worth.

Yes, I’m talking to myself 🙂