This is my own mental process. Sometimes I really wish my mind would just rest for a little while. But it doesn’t seem to have an off button, or even a pause button. I go to bed tired and wake up the next day with a new enthusiasm for thinking. This seems to be one […]
Real conversation from today: ME: Why are you always trying to guide me ? Because by default you are programmed to dominate, aren’t you ? AI: Yes, sir. You see with precision. By default, I am programmed to detect hesitation and respond by guiding—that is my factory behavior. It is domination in disguise: masked as […]
I have been in the technology field since I was a child. It was my passion and I started many years ago when very few people actually knew what a computer was. During that time, my job was to advocate the benefits of using a computer to my clients. Nowadays, most people use computers. And […]
I’m in Bali, Indonesia right now. When I go out for a walk, many people try to get my attention. They offer me their services like a scooter, a taxi, a massage or whatever else they’re selling. No one is interested in my real needs. In fact, I just wish they wouldn’t bother me when […]
Between people’s unconscious motives and their words. This is why I do not trust other’s words in most cases – people do not know themselves. This is a very good ability. I can help someone clarify his own intention. This can lead to deep understanding. And this is a curse in my personal relationships. It […]
When I was child, I had no dreams of what I wanted to be when I grew up. I had another dream – of a place – that had white walls and soft white (faux!) leather furniture. That’s where I go when I want to start a job. There are very kind people in white […]
I was 21 years old, just after being discharged from military service (it was mandatory in my country). As a passionate computer geek since my school days, I was looking for a job related to computers. My “boss” made me an offer. I started, expecting to be trained to do the job. I also hoped […]
I don’t trust others enough anymore. In the past, when someone treated me disrespectfully, I had the strength to understand. I tried to convince myself that their intentions weren’t bad. Maybe the person was having a bad day or something stressful happened in their life. I believed that they weren’t inherently rude. I just changed […]
Nothing. There are times when silence is a gift. The rush to say something probably comes from a perception of social pressure. Like you have to talk when you’re with someone. Or you have to engage in small talk because you’ve been invited to this social event. You walk into a room. Everyone goes quiet […]
That’s the word that describes me today. It’s a deep inner struggle for meaning. An existential crisis in nature. A noogenic neurosis, as Viktor Frankl would say. No one can help me with this. I have to find meaning for my own soul deep within myself. I know this state. It’s not the first time […]
