Trying to avoid negative feelings does not help me solve “the problem.” This happens if I perceive negative feelings as the core problem itself. I usually apply a typical framework in such situations. The first question will be “What is the problem?” The honest answer must be the name of this feeling. Nothing more or less.

Then I am asking myself the second question in my typical framework: why is this problem? This question usually leads me to the same result as Marshall Rosenberg’s non-violent communication approach. I am finding the unsatisfied need that leads to my feeling.

Let’s say for example I feel angry. So what is the problem ? The problem seems to be that I feel mad. I ask myself why this is a problem. I find that my need for justice is not satisfied. This happens when this person from the support ignores the specific question in my ticket and answers me too generally.

So actually, this gives me the chance to vent my frustration. After that, I can try to find another solution to the real problem: being not understood correctly.

Daily writing prompt

What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?

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