I walked into the co-working space where I’ve been spending my mornings and early afternoons lately. I have a favorite sitting area, so I headed there. I found a girl sitting next to me. I had noticed her presence before.

I started working, but I was having a hard time concentrating. I started to feel some anxiety and pressure to “do something now,” but I had no idea what. The urge grew stronger, even my nose started to run slightly at one point. I discovered that my tension was somehow connected to the girl. I tried to look at her without looking her straight in the eye. It was a stupid idea, just as it sounds.

Then she left. My tension began to subside and almost disappeared completely.

Then a stream of questions emerged, leading to some insights. I’ve had similar experiences many times before. When I get to know the other person, they usually express their concerns in a way that I can understand. And I would ask questions to better understand and help them solve the problem that was causing their anxiety. This made me very good at solving problems – I did it faster and better each time.

This opened up opportunities for me that led to my professional career as a problem solver.

And then I asked myself, is this correct way for a person to connect with someone?